you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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