On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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