ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
