Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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