she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
