hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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