Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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