I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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