What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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