Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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