so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
