I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
