Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
