Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
