I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
