there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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