Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
