I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
