ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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