I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
