Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
