Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
