So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
