I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
