bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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