She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
