Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
