the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
