Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
