Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
