You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
