Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
