i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
