I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
