OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
