I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
