the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
