I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
