Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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