Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
