the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
