At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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