know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
