I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
