Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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