We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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