Already got asked if we're dating
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
