I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
