Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
