i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The adults are the big ones right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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