So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
